Wifi in Hogwarts
by Hermione Heterodyne
Summary: This is how in some fanfiction Ipods, computers, and the like somehow manage to work in Hogwarts. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1: Email

"History will remember this day as the day internet worked in Hogwarts," I intoned in a dramatic voice as I fiddled with some wires.

"Carolyn, you've been saying that for three months and it hasn't worked yet. I think the Room of Requirement is worn out from all of your weird requests. Besides, we have homework to do," Ginny reminded me.

"Three whole sentences without the words "Harry Potter" in them. That's a new record," I retorted without glancing up. "Roll of duct tape, please." It appeared on the floor next to me.

Ginny blushed. "I don't talk about him _all_ the time."

Demelza pushed away her Charms assignment with a sigh. "Please, Ginevra, you're the very definition of 'fawning fangirl'," she said.

"Luna, you're a Seer, aren't you? Tell me if I'll ever marry Harry."

Luna closed her eyes and said in a misty voice, "In your Sixth Year you'll become incredibly gorgeous and he'll fall in love with you. Five years later you'll get married and have three children. Satisfied?"

"Very," Ginny replied, ignoring my and Demelza's laughter. It was so ludicrous it could hardly be true.

Ginny, Demelza, and Luna were in the Room of Requirement with me offering moral support and working on homework, as they have been doing since September. It was the only time we, two Gryffindors and two Ravenclaws, could hang out because we didn't have any classes together. I, the crazy techno-geek, was dying without my laptop, so I've researched and built a magic insulation machine. I can't explain how or why it should work, but it will. (AN: I know nothing about technology so bear with me on this.) For the last three months, every day from right after classes end till around midnight, I worked on my machine. The next morning I copied my friends' homework because I spent so much time doing something else.

I wrapped the duct tape around some copper filament and stood up to examine what I built. My laptop was almost entirely obscured by wire, mirrors, tape, and a layer of foam. I somehow opened it and pressed the power button.

It turned on. I clicked the browser icon and typed my email provider's url into the search bar. The login screen appeared.

IT WORKS! EUREKA! I'M BRILLIANT!" I jumped up and danced in a circle around my wonderous creation. "Magic serves as a signal jammer for electronic devices. This is sort of a signal jammer for the signal jammer. And this little beepy thing sends out a signal to all other electronics here, so they can work again!"

The three girls looked up from their work and huddled around the laptop. All of them grew up in wizarding households and have never seen a computer before.

"This little arrow is the cursor. When I move my finger on this pad, the cursor moves. Like this." I clicked on an Email from my friend Anna from home.

It said, _Hey gurl! How r u? Hows ur new skool? Every1's missin u lots. idk if u get web access there but if u do, plz reply. LUV U! xoxo Anna_

_"_Is that in mermish?" Asked Luna.

"No, that's textspeak, even harder to understand. She's asking how I'm doing and if I can respond to her email." I explained.

NEXT EPISODE: CAROLYN TEACHES THEM ABOUT YOUTUBE! (DUNDUNDUUHHNN!)


	2. Chapter 2: Youtube

The next day, after dinner and homework, Luna and I ran straight to the Room of Requirement to meet Ginny and Demelza. Ginny, wasn't there but Demelza was already waiting with an amused smile on her face, like she had a secret.

"Ginevra was detained by an important engagement," she announced with a little laugh. I had no doubt this "engagement" involved Harry Potter. Sure enough, a few seconds after the browser loaded, Ginny burst through the door dragging her brother Ron and his two best friends, one of which happened to be Harry Potter.

"They," she panted, "Want to learn... about... this interweb thing... too."

I glanced at Harry and what's-her-name-with-the-big-teeth suspiciously. "Aren't you two muggleborn? You should know about the internet and computers, shouldn't you?"

"I'm not allowed to touch Dudley's computer, and I have better things to do," Harry shrugged.

"I prefer books to computers," Hermione said, sitting down across from my contraption and carefully studying it. "How the heck did you get this to work? These wires aren't connected to anything and the lightbulb is serving no purpose."

"SCIENCE!" I answered. even though there was probably a better answer somewhere.

I summoned up some cushions and stuff for them to sit on, and logged on to Youtube.

" This here is a website where you can watch videos. Videos are pictures that move in a story kind of way for a long time. Let's search for a video." I typed in "A Very Potter Musical."

Soon, " Gotta go back to Hogwarts" was blasting through the room. Everyone's jaws dropped, either from suprise at the video or delight at the song.

"My hair's not curly!" complained Harry.

"Shh, my character's talking!" Ron exclaimed, leaning in.

The next hours were spent watching AVPM and AVPS. Luna, Demelza and I found them very funny, but the four of them that appeared in the play were shocked at first, then laughed along with us.

"I wonder if Honeydukes sells Redvines," Ron mused.

"I wonder what Draco will think of this. And if he knows how to use a potty," Ginny snickered.

"I wonder who leaked wizarding secrets into the muggle world," Luna said, rather seriously.

Everyone stared at her. "Who cares? As far as muggles are concerned, it's only a silly play made for fun. Fiction." Hermione explained calmly.

"I guess you're right." I checked my watch. "It's getting late. Let's come back tomorrow?"

And all 6 of them immediately agreed.

NEXT TIME: FACEBOOK! OR ONLINE GAMES! OR FANFICTION! I DONT KNOW YET!


	3. Chapter 3: Games And Hair Extensions

(AN: Wow... been a while... -.- I didn't mean to stop writing, I swear... Anywayz, new chapter. All celebrate.)

It was Saturday, finally, and so we all met in the Room Of Requirement directly after breakfast, except for Hermione. She was in the Library doing homework, and insisting that nobody bother her.

"We have a full day here, so we can learn about several things today. Like... games."

"You can play Gobstones on a compulator, or whatever you call it?" Ron asked, peering at the screen over my shoulder.

"Not gobstones, but all these other games. Like in this place."

I found my favorite gaming site, and looked at the top games.

"You guys can pick," I told them, and leaned back so they could look.

"This one seems rather fitting, doesn't it?" Luna said, pointing at something called, "I don't even game."

I looked at the others. They shrugged, not caring much one way or the other.

"Let's start!"

It was a puzzle sort of game, where you need to interpret the instructions in a certain way in order to pass. Demelza proved to be quite good at these, surprisingly.

"My brothers enjoy solving riddles, at home," she explained, taking over the keyboard and tapping a combination of keys. "But what I don't understand is, how can you Muggles make pictures that not only move, but can be moved in a different way by someone else?"

The room fell silent. Everyone wanted to hear my answer.

"Well... I guess... It's also magic, just not in the way they teach here. I can't really explain it, but the wires and circuits all work together in a way, and the pictures appear on screen. It's called science."

Harry sighed, bored. "That's all wonderful, but can we try a different game? This one's taking too long."

"Yes!" Ginny said quickly. "Let's try this one." She grabbed the mouse from Demelza and clicked on an arcade game.

"I have an idea," she said slyly. "Carolyn, I bet you that I can beat you in this two-player version. If I win, I get your blue hair extensions. If I lose, you get the comb you always wanted to borrow from me. Want to play?"

"Does it have to be the blue ones? I have blonde extensions too, they'll match your uniform better."

She shook her head. "Blue. All three of them."

"They'll be too short for you," I tried, pointing to my chin-length cut. But it was a bluff and Ginny knew it. I showed her how I wrapped the extension around the clip several times so I could lengthen them as my hair grew, and at full length, they'd be around Ginny's hair length.

"Mum would kill you if she saw you with blue stripes in your hair," Ron muttered.

"Then I'll just have to skip wearing them at home, won't I?"

"Fine," I said, clicking the instructions button. "We'll play three times, one win= one extension. Ready?"

"Most people play for Sickles or Galleons, not Ginny. She plays for fake hair." Luna sighed and turned what little attention she had to the game, which we already begun.

It was simple: throw arrows at a bunch of balloons, while trying to get bonus points and avoiding birds

* * *

I looked at the floor, where my blue hair extensions lay, unwound. Two with Ginny, one with me. _It's okay, mum'll buy you new ones, _I told myself. "Good job," I said to Ginny instead.

"Can we go to lunch now?" Ron whined. "I'm hungry. And I'm going to owl mum telling her what you did."

"You wouldn't dare!"

They ran out of the room arguing. We followed.

TO BE CONTINUED... Someday... Procrastinators unite!


End file.
